Friday, November 26

Lists...

blamblog has had a few interesting posts recently. One was his Celebrity Sex List. A post asking readers which celebrities they would sleep with given the option. His next was part of Death Week. If you had three months to live, what would you do? How would you choose to die? And, who would you haunt after your untimely death?
So I've decided to combine the two lists. Which Celebrity would you kill? Or, which dead celebrity would you sleep with?
I will answer the first question.

Celebrities I would kill.

1: Renee Zellweger - I cannot stand this squinty eyed, clenched teeth talking, Bridget Jones star. You had me at hello? I don't think so Renee. You had me at your death rattle!

2: George Lucas - How can someone ruin Star Wars? I thought it was impossible. But Lucas proved it wasn't.

3: Lindsay Lohan - I've had enough of these celebrities complaining about how tough it is being famous. If you didn't want people following you, taking your picture, or generally harrassing you. Stop making movies and music videos.

4: James Cameron - Aliens, Terminator 2...Titanic? What was he thinking? Making Titanic was a crime against humanity. He deserves the death penalty.

5: George W. Bush - I don't think we need any explanation.

So...who would you kill? Or sleep with?

Wednesday, November 24

I Got the Job...

Yup, I got it. I start on Monday Nov 29th at 9 am in Mississauga, near Square One. It's going to be a hell of a commute, but I get three weeks paid vacation after six months of working there. Sweet ass sweet!

Another bonus, I'm in collections. So I get to phone people and tell them to give me money. "Hello?" "Hello Mr. Deadbeat, this is Chip." "Uh, Chip who?" "Never mind punk. Gimme money!"

So any small business owners out there who don't pay your RST, you better watch yourself. Or send some good bribes!!

Tuesday, November 23

Weekend Update...

This weekend I went to the Niagara Region to visit my friend Greg. Greg has been living in New Jersey working for a tele-vangelist for the last few months. He was visiting his parents in Wainfleet, a farming town outside of Welland.
Greg and I bought a 12 pack of Red Cap beer. They come in the old style stubby neck bottles. Basically, we spent the evening talking about our stubbies. After buying the beer we went to his friend TJ's house in Thorold. Me, TJ, Greg, and a few of TJ's roommates hung out at TJ's house for a couple hours drinking, and then we headed out to a bar called Stella's. The bar was okay I guess, I didn't like the crowd, and I wasn't in a dancing mood, so we decided to head over to The Honest Lawyer.
The Lawyer is one of my favourites. It's not a dance bar but they have enough room to dance if you want to, and they play loud music. There are plenty of places to sit down, they have pool tables, video games, foozball tables, and one bowling lane.
We left the lawyer around two o'clock, I don't remember hearing the last call warning, so it was probably around 1:30. Greg was hungry so we made a Pita Pit and Pizza Pizza run. Greg had a pita and a slice of pizza. He managed to finish the pita while in line for his slice, but when we left the pizza place he walked into a fire hydrant, fell in a puddle, and dropped his pizza. He ended up throwing a fit and annoying all of us to the point that we each gave him a piece of our left over crust.
On the way back to TJ's house we had trouble finding a cab. We ended up walking for about 20 minutes before we managed to flag one down. The entire time Greg was leering at women, swearing at the cabs that didn't stop, and trying to find somewhere to pee. I think he ended up peeing on someone's porch, but I don't know for sure.
Ultimately, we ended up back at TJ's house feeling cold, drunk, and annoyed at Greg. I spent the night on a couch in his basement. Greg was one floor above me, but I could still hear him snoring.
It was a fun Saturday night.