Friday, April 25


As the globe slowly spins its way towards spring and hopefully an eventual summer, I begin to feel the inevitable pull of the links. The sky is blue and all the leaves are green, the sun's as warm as a baked potato...uh okay, that was a "Cannibal the Musical" quote. But's it's fairly accurate.

Hockey season is over, it's playoffs time, and so far it's as exciting a playoff as I've ever seen. The Make-me-laughs are finished, Ottawa is going strong, the Mighty Ducks are slowly advancing in an unbelievable five game winning streak, and fans everywhere are excited about the impending Stanley Cup finals.

But many of us are gazing out the office windows, looking upon the newly uncovered fields of green, and itching to be out there drinking some beers and swinging a metal stick at a tiny white ball. The sporting goods stores have all their Nike, Topflight, mizuno, and Titlist gear on display. Pictures of Canada's newest hero Mike Weir are flooding the nation, and the irresistible thwack of a 3 wood is making heads turn.

Golf season is upon us.

Thursday, April 24

The Mullet

Hockey hair, the 10 90, shorty long back. Whatever name you give it, a mullet is a mullet. Whether consisting of short brush cut hair on top and long straight hair on the back, or feathered on top with magnificent plumage in the back, it's a style that has been around for ages and doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon.

I'm not entirely sure why people still cut their hair in the mullet fashion. Or why those who do have mullets tend to wear a lot of denim and drive Iroc or Camaros.

But I do know that the mullet is one of the most fascinating mistakes the human race has ever made. Whether it's a traditional Billy Ray Cyrus (spelling?) cut, the Jaromir Jagr hockey hair, the fe-mullet, the skullet (Hulk Hogan style), or even the rat tail, you just can't help but stare when one makes an appearance.

There is an ongoing debate on the mullet capital of Ontario. Some peole say Belleville, some say Oshawa, and others believe the Welland / Thorold area in the Niagara Region should boast the title.

After having participated in a mullet based documentary in my third year of College, I have always kept a careful eye out for extraordinary mullet occurances. To date I have seen the most mullets in Oshawa, the best mullet (rated on length, plumage, and style) in Welland, the most consistency (regarding length and style) in Belleville, and the least number of mullets per capita in Ottawa.

But after all this time I still don't understand why. Why the mullet? Why cut your hair like that? Is your barber blind? Are you that big of a Bon Jovi, or White Snake fan that you have to keep the hair going? What is the deal? If anyone knows, or has some good mullet stories feel free to comment.

And if you don't know why, or have no stories, comment anyway, it makes me feel popular.

Oh, and if Brett wants to ditch Alice, maybe he should grow a mullet, or skullet as it were. No self respecting educated woman would stay with a man who has hockey hair.

For more information on mullets visit - mullets galore or mullet madness.

Wednesday, April 23

Time off, Easter, and other stuff....

Hello my fans!

I know you've all been wondering where I have been for the last few days, and I am about to answer your question.

I went home to visit my family for the Easter weekend. And as I'm a Government employee, I had friday, saturday, sunday and monday off, as well as having a job interview on tuesday, thus giving me virtually 5 days off. What a wonderful system we have eh?

Now that I've explained where I was, I'm sure you're all dying to know how my weekend was. Okay, I'll tell you.

It was fun. There you go. What? More details? Uh, alright, but just a few.

I left Thursday evening with my girlfriend and one of her friends who was visiting us for the week. We drove to Toronto to drop my girlfriends friend off at her apartment, which smelled like fish. And then we headed into Oshawa to visit my family. We stayed with my folks on Thursday night, all day and night Friday, and left after dinner on Saturday to go to my girlfriends house in Niagara Falls. We stayed there until Monday, when we came back to Oshawa so I could have my interview on Tuesday. We left Oshawa after my interview and arrived back home on Tuesday night. I had a total of three Easter dinners, a crap load of chocolate (which I don't really like so I gave to my girlfriend) tons of candy, some new jeans, and I played some video games with my little brother. X-Box is pretty great, especially the game Halo.

There you go.

So now that you've heard about my Easter adventures, I'll ramble on about some other stuff.

My girlfriend bought me Stupid White Men and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation by Michael Moore. It was a fantastic book, I read it in about 2 days. If you're a fan of Michael Moore, or even if you're not, I recommend this one. It was a non-stop thrill ride, a page turner to the very end. etc. etc. etc.

I still haven't managed to get in touch with the people I mentioned the other day, but I'm not too worried about it. I'll probably just write to Oprah and see what she can do.

So what's new with all of you?