Thursday, April 24

The Mullet

Hockey hair, the 10 90, shorty long back. Whatever name you give it, a mullet is a mullet. Whether consisting of short brush cut hair on top and long straight hair on the back, or feathered on top with magnificent plumage in the back, it's a style that has been around for ages and doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon.

I'm not entirely sure why people still cut their hair in the mullet fashion. Or why those who do have mullets tend to wear a lot of denim and drive Iroc or Camaros.

But I do know that the mullet is one of the most fascinating mistakes the human race has ever made. Whether it's a traditional Billy Ray Cyrus (spelling?) cut, the Jaromir Jagr hockey hair, the fe-mullet, the skullet (Hulk Hogan style), or even the rat tail, you just can't help but stare when one makes an appearance.

There is an ongoing debate on the mullet capital of Ontario. Some peole say Belleville, some say Oshawa, and others believe the Welland / Thorold area in the Niagara Region should boast the title.

After having participated in a mullet based documentary in my third year of College, I have always kept a careful eye out for extraordinary mullet occurances. To date I have seen the most mullets in Oshawa, the best mullet (rated on length, plumage, and style) in Welland, the most consistency (regarding length and style) in Belleville, and the least number of mullets per capita in Ottawa.

But after all this time I still don't understand why. Why the mullet? Why cut your hair like that? Is your barber blind? Are you that big of a Bon Jovi, or White Snake fan that you have to keep the hair going? What is the deal? If anyone knows, or has some good mullet stories feel free to comment.

And if you don't know why, or have no stories, comment anyway, it makes me feel popular.

Oh, and if Brett wants to ditch Alice, maybe he should grow a mullet, or skullet as it were. No self respecting educated woman would stay with a man who has hockey hair.

For more information on mullets visit - mullets galore or mullet madness.


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